Behind every username is a person

💜 To build #community, you need to recognise that every username is a person like you and me. While playing a war game, I keep in mind that behind every nickname and headquarters, is a person.

I watch the game on my iPad. Blue lines, yellow lines, movement. As much as it’s virtual, these are real people effecting these actions. It’s as real as life can be if we remember that we’re not our avatars. We’re not our troop might. Behind each avatar is a person. 

Someone with feelings, thoughts and agency. 

It’s like on LinkedIn. We’re not just a profile. We’re more than our titles, our headshots, our experiences. 

I wonder what people seek in a game like this. Are we looking for a distraction or connection? It’s like sitting at a café in Paris and people watching. Where are they going? Where did they come from? 

🐈 I’m curious so I lurk. Sometimes, I ask questions. Sometimes, I get answers.

My login streak shows 366 days. The beginning is fuzzy and I don’t remember many details. I thought it was a puzzle game that I could play in my downtime while taking care of my mother. 

She has dementia and I tried to figure out a care plan for her when I was there in that apartment where I lived from 14 until 22 and then 27-29.  I slept on a hard mattress in the living room. Actually, I barely slept the whole month. She would cough and there was so much noise from the surroundings I couldn’t sleep more than a few hours at night. Medical appointments for an old lady heavier than I am. Little strength in her legs after being hospitalised for a few months. Teaching the helper how to measure and record her vitals. Fixing wheelchairs and managing recurring infections etc. 🚥 That was my life for a while.

Three weeks later, I found myself shaking from low blood pressure and palpitations. Sleep deprivation was real and coffee couldn’t help anymore. 

After returning to Belgium, I took time to regroup. I had the TV going but wasn’t paying attention. At the same time, I was on the game – puzzles, attacking, events, small talk. 

Once, I wrote on the alliance chat that I was having a bad day and would like some flowers. Then, one of the quietest members – Donald – put three flower emojis in the chat. 🌷I started smiling and crying. 

In the game, I made friends. It was refreshing because when you stop working and switch your path to something completely different, you drift away from people. It’s hard to connect with your old friends when your life is about #caregiving and therapy for your #mentalhealth. Not everyone understands my journey and it’s ok.

In the game, some actually said “Hello” and “Thank you” to me. Some people actually cared. For months, I talked to my therapist about the game. I told her about the members, incidents and how I handled it, discord servers, game event management, and having supportive friends. 

😌 #Gaming saved my life in the strangest possible way. 🙏 

We can never know 100% what someone is going through. Everyone has their reasons for showing up here. Whether ‘here’ refers to LinkedIn, a zombie game, a workplace etc. What you take away with you at the end of the day, at the end of the game is what you put in. It’s what others give. It’s what you make of it, and it’ll be what you remember.

🍀 Be kind, be curious. Have a good week.