Here’s a piece of truth that will set you free. At some point in your life, you will lose something or someone important to you. And now that I have told you the truth, you are free. You no longer have to worry about it, because it will surely happen and you cannot predict when. From now on, you simply have to decide what to do when the moment arrives, how to find meaning and your purpose while navigating through grief.
We live in a society that celebrates success, highlights the sparkling moments and values the endless pursuit of happiness.
That’s a photo of me at the airport rushing back to see my mother. I was that crying woman at airports that day, and I didn’t care what people thought. I am also at ease sharing these moments of my life here.
As humans, we prefer to be happy. Nobody really wants to look at the shadows too much. People seem uncomfortable with the less glamorous sides of life, even when they are always lurking around the corner.
Grief.
We are told to buck up, get over it, rise above it, but we were never taught to live with it.
Remember that you are not alone, even when you sit on that bus to the hospital and feel like nobody has ever been in that dark place.
Grief is the commons of our souls, a space that connects us as humans.
Grief touches everyone in different ways. Grief can be due to the loss of a loved one, or it can be the process of losing a loved one, going through a traumatic life change, losing your job, losing something that matters to you. That is grief. At some point in our lives, grief will touch us. It’s a multitude of emotions. Isolation, fear, worry, regret, pain, anger, jealousy, guilt and so much more.
Sometimes we get stuck. And it’s OK.
Your grief is valid and your pain is real, even if no one can truly understand it 100% except you. Remember that there have been others who have been through similar situations. It’s not that it will make things better, but perhaps you will feel less lonely. And understand that no matter what decision you take, you are doing the right thing for yourself.
Nobody can judge you for your actions.
My mother fell ill when I was 17 and it has been a gradual decline over the last two decades. I like to think that in my 20 years of grief, it has increased my capacity to love and feel.
One cannot feel pain without love. If you never loved anything nor anyone before, you wouldn’t feel the pain of loss.
My grief has helped me to see and experience the world differently. It isn’t something I have to fix. I’m not broken. It’s part of my life and I can move forward with it without trying to hide it nor downplay it.
I think that if more people are open to having conversations about grief and the messier in-between of life, we will realise sooner that it’s OK, that there are people who have been there, that you can find serenity again.
Deep inside, we are the same. We are people navigating Life as best as we can.
When I’m at the place inside me, at the centre of my universe, and when you’re at that place inside of you, we shall be one.